You'd think nth happened but, understand. even for the strongest heart. Small hurtfull gestures piled up frm time to time will eventually break it.slowly. without realizing you nudged n pushed me out of the circle we've built. Severing the bond between us. you might not realize when i stand in the point of view of and outsider. watching. hurt. wondering what i've done that made you push me out. intentionally or not.

everytime i ask. concerned. you'd shake me off saying, 'oh. nth la.' and all that. slowly piling up with all the ignorance i received, without realizing. i MYSELF took a step out of that circle we built. bit by bit i lost hope telling myself. 'they're happy without you. move on dude.' Not understanding your conversations, not understanding why you walk off together telling me that you hav sumthin to tok abt. clearly asking me to stay behind. it gets more painfull everytime and sooner or later that pain will break all the little faith i hav left for this friendship.

i HATE it when you leave me out and apologize when you dont mean it. and when i question deeper into it you come up with some lame excuse thinking i'd be fine with it just because i dont say anything. i HATE it when you clearly want to say something about this and yet indirectly doing it. i HATE how im still watching frm where i am. waiting for you to take a step i know you'd never take.

most of all. i HATE it when you keep saying you care. giving the tiny bit of hope. waiting for you to daringly reach out to me but you never do. forgeting the promise you once made to me.

when was the last time you came up to me and held my hand? i really cant remember. and yet you say it is me giving up on you. honestly im sick of taking the 1st step. to be the one foolishly trying to lie to myself saying nth happen and everything will be fine. afterall. isn't it great without a "HOT-TEMPERED" and rash flame with you? instead replaced by one with patience and laughter.