“…and I’m on my way to believing” her head whipped about as the song ended turning to stare longingly towards the only picture she kept in her room.

What am I believing?  She thought

That all this is okay? That all this is fine? And this are going great? Well, no. its not and although deep down she knows that, it’s just so much easier to push it away, make it out like it never happened. 

Deal with it. After all…

“Talking isn’t gonna change anything. People change, we’ve just gotta accept that things are different now and make do with it” words flooded back into her mind as she recalled that last conversation she had with her. They’ve been friends for 7 years now and leaving high school to college is just the test of friendship that everyone has to go through. Where distance and time becomes a challenge you’ve just gotta overcome in the battle to maintain your friendship. It’s where you decide if the friendship that grew in high school is worth fighting for or if it’s just a phase and now it’s over, so move on. They say, high school friends last forever. But, does it really?

Maybe expectations are set too high on one end while in the other, priorities are different now and there’s just no longer any more time or patience to fit another ‘burden’ in

We’d call each other best friends but when people change like that, it’s hard to even think of those words anymore, for instead of feeling proud and appreciative, all you’d feel now is hurt and regrets.

 But that’s the funny thing about best friends, when you put aside all the hurt, and just talk like how you used to, everything wrong that you’ve done just doesn’t seem to matter anymore and you’d feel like you never wanna let go of this and things are gonna be as it was, but when all the problems you have resurfaces, it hurts more than anything in the world and deep inside you know that things will never be the same anymore, and maybe, just maybe to avoid hurting so much, it’s time to let go. It’s hard and so, for the last few months, avoidance seems to be the only thing holding them together.

Ding!

Her train of thought interrupted by the bell, she got up and walked towards the door. Peering through the peephole, she was met with a waving figure. Smiling at the timing of the person, she let opened the door to let him in.

“Hey! Glad you decided to come after all!” the normal ‘hello’ hug was exchanged and he followed her into the room. As she seated herself back down on the chair he shamelessly jumped and laid face-down on her bed.

“Decided I was bored, so thought I’d come accompany you and we can be bored together instead! Whats that you were playing?” he looked curiously at her laptop screen.

“ Oh this? Nothing” hastily she closed the window and replaced it with her iTunes playlist. Randomly picking a song she moved to the bed joining him as they laid down comfortably listening to the song.

“So, how was your day?” she asked, and they continued talking lightly as they’ve always been able to since not so long ago. She was introduced to him in a party and they’ve been friends ever since. Few months later, they became closer, and as the old friendship became rocky, this new one has become where she could lean on, without having to worry that she was intruding on some ‘time’, boring, disturbing or just plain annoying. Insecurity has made the old friendship vulnerable and having another, or maybe a few other close friends to rely on just seem like the best distraction to avoid hurting herself. In comfortable silence she turned to look at the guy next to her, he was like a fresh breath of air that came into her life. He’s always so, comforting, positive and just an inspiration for her to keep on fighting. 

Someone that, just came into her life, yet manages to earn his place in becoming one that is just as important as those that have been there for the last 7 years.

“Oh! Shit! Its 11! I better get home now, my mom’s gonna kill me! And it’s a school night!” she follows him up and out to the door.

“Bye, thanks for coming over, I needed the company” she gives him another hug before exchanging goodnights. He would always come at the right time, and even though he might not be the best person for her to open up and cry to yet, he is definitely the best comfort she can find. His ignorance saves her from the fear of being judged and his hugs and smile comforts her more than any words can.

Speaking of words her thoughts shifted to HER, who’s just as important as the 2 before. SHE would always know the right words to say in any kind of situation, well provided she did not lose her temper. SHE was the one she would call whenever she needed help, guidance or just someone to listen to her cry. They were similar in so many ways that she felt the only one that she could say anything or do anything to, and NOT feel judged was HER.

Sitting herself back down in front of the computer, she finds herself opening HER Facebook page to look at the old photos that they’ve took together. Their friendship had been a peculiar one, having started from disliking each other over a guy in junior year, to being forced to sit next to each other in sophomore year and being close friends in the same clique; who fight with each other at least 3 times a month because they can’t stand each other’s attitude! It was only until after their high school days, and into college that they learn to change and accept the difference in each other, and instead of fighting over differences, they’ve explored similarities and formed an entirely new and improved version of friendship compared to their old one. Its funny how people change and the people you thought you’ve known forever, just becomes a whole new person today.

At the age of 19, though not blessed with love and romance, she is blessed with great friendship, care and love from friends she’d never dream she would have. A whole group of brothers that treat her like one of their own, ignorant and rude sometimes but genuinely caring. And a small but the best group of sisters anyone can ever wish for, whom, through thick and thin have never failed to support and stand by her side. Saving her from a shopping disaster, to personal problems so dark she would never share with anyone else. This, including the 3 people above, she is happy.

And for all that, she is thankful.